November 1st, 2010
Dear World,
I apologise to the few people who have been reading this. I haven't had any Internet for the last month and so updating has nearly been impossible. I'm back now, though updating daily probably will not happen due to personal procrastination and the fact that I have to update from school since my laptop has become quite persnickety.
Have you ever had that feeling that the reason a person keeps coming back into your life is because they're meant to be there? And even when they hurt you again and again, you would do almost anything just to have them back?
Yah, well...
It all started early on in my sophomore year. I had just gotten my braces off that morning and was running my tongue along the weird, suddenly smooth surfaces of my teeth. I had sat down at a lunch table in the cafeteria with a couple of friends. He peeked around several people, his face scrunched up in a goofy grin and wearing a beanie over his head. He was a cutie, charismatic and a grade lower than me. It was hard not to immedeitly want to be friends.
We started doing a lot of Facebook chatting. Just a "How are you?", "I'm good, how are you?" type thing. Then it became more and more obvious flirting. He asked me out several times. I really did want to say yes, but I knew it was probably a bad idea. Plus, I had just gotten out of a relationship.
Then, (This is where my memory gets a little mixed-up) I think I decided to date this complete player who I really don't think meant to be, but he was anyways. Feeling completely hurt, the other guy (I'm gonna call him Tumbleweed from here on out) completely deleted me from his Facebook and stopped talking to me period. Then there was this other time where I guess I rejected him one time too many and he just started shunning me. I'm not really sure which one of those scenarios came first.... All I know is a month or so after each time, he would eventually come back and want to be friends.
I didn't want to admit it, but I really did like him. But, I couldn't tell anyone. My best friend (Who, by the way was a horrible person, but that's another story), thought he was ugly and told me not to have anything to do with him. I thought he was far from ugly, but I listened to her because of her vast experience in the world of love and men (Sarcasm). It hurt every time he walked past me.
I dumped the player dude four days before the school Valentine dance. It was rather fun to go to the dance single, except for the fact that my ex was making out with another random girl. Then, Tumbleweed showed up. I don't think I had ever let myself dance with anybody the way I danced with him. He had several things to say about my hips later.
Later that same year I believe ( I'm really bad with time and order, it may have been the next year), he started hanging around one of my other girl-friends. Me and him might have been on talking terms, we might not of. It was obvious that he really liked her but that she had no real interest in him. I didn't like to admit it, but it really made me jealous. I thought it was probably painfully obvious since I asked her about him every chance I got.
Towards the end of my first semester as a junior, he started hanging out with me again. My friend had dumped him for her ex and he had become a bit of a player. I still liked him but not even ten horses could've dragged that from my mouth.
It was either after Christmas break or before (I think it was after), when he asked if he could come over and hang out. I lived just a couple blocks from the school and we were skipping class. We hung out alone in my living room, watching "Men in Black" and making funny comments. Somehow we ended up practically in each other's laps. When he tried to kiss me, I freaked and turned away. He stayed for an hour or so after that and then left. Two days later, he had a girlfriend.
She was a cute little thing, not entirely gorgeous, but she looked like a nice girl. This time, I was the one hurt. Whenever I walked past him in the hallway holding hands with her, I almost started crying. It was embarrassing and I couldn't figure out why it mattered so much to me. It's not like either one of us had been clear about how we felt about each other.
We ran into each other a month later at a local dance. I was hanging out with one of our many mutual friends and he was kind enough to inform Tumbleweed that I was no longer speaking to him. The look on Tumbleweed's face was priceless as he looked at me and asked "Really?"
Yes really.
That was the first time I had actually snubbed anyone. I sucked at it. We were talking before the end of the night. He was full of crap. "She went for me, I didn't go for her!," "I thought you WANTED to be single?!" Excuses, excuses. I informed him that he had already done this to me three time. I also informed him that I forgave him and that if it ever happened again, he wouldn't get another chance. (Mentally punches self in face)
And that's how it sort of ended for a while... (To be continued.....)
Love, Me
I apologise to the few people who have been reading this. I haven't had any Internet for the last month and so updating has nearly been impossible. I'm back now, though updating daily probably will not happen due to personal procrastination and the fact that I have to update from school since my laptop has become quite persnickety.
Have you ever had that feeling that the reason a person keeps coming back into your life is because they're meant to be there? And even when they hurt you again and again, you would do almost anything just to have them back?
Yah, well...
It all started early on in my sophomore year. I had just gotten my braces off that morning and was running my tongue along the weird, suddenly smooth surfaces of my teeth. I had sat down at a lunch table in the cafeteria with a couple of friends. He peeked around several people, his face scrunched up in a goofy grin and wearing a beanie over his head. He was a cutie, charismatic and a grade lower than me. It was hard not to immedeitly want to be friends.
We started doing a lot of Facebook chatting. Just a "How are you?", "I'm good, how are you?" type thing. Then it became more and more obvious flirting. He asked me out several times. I really did want to say yes, but I knew it was probably a bad idea. Plus, I had just gotten out of a relationship.
Then, (This is where my memory gets a little mixed-up) I think I decided to date this complete player who I really don't think meant to be, but he was anyways. Feeling completely hurt, the other guy (I'm gonna call him Tumbleweed from here on out) completely deleted me from his Facebook and stopped talking to me period. Then there was this other time where I guess I rejected him one time too many and he just started shunning me. I'm not really sure which one of those scenarios came first.... All I know is a month or so after each time, he would eventually come back and want to be friends.
I didn't want to admit it, but I really did like him. But, I couldn't tell anyone. My best friend (Who, by the way was a horrible person, but that's another story), thought he was ugly and told me not to have anything to do with him. I thought he was far from ugly, but I listened to her because of her vast experience in the world of love and men (Sarcasm). It hurt every time he walked past me.
I dumped the player dude four days before the school Valentine dance. It was rather fun to go to the dance single, except for the fact that my ex was making out with another random girl. Then, Tumbleweed showed up. I don't think I had ever let myself dance with anybody the way I danced with him. He had several things to say about my hips later.
Later that same year I believe ( I'm really bad with time and order, it may have been the next year), he started hanging around one of my other girl-friends. Me and him might have been on talking terms, we might not of. It was obvious that he really liked her but that she had no real interest in him. I didn't like to admit it, but it really made me jealous. I thought it was probably painfully obvious since I asked her about him every chance I got.
Towards the end of my first semester as a junior, he started hanging out with me again. My friend had dumped him for her ex and he had become a bit of a player. I still liked him but not even ten horses could've dragged that from my mouth.
It was either after Christmas break or before (I think it was after), when he asked if he could come over and hang out. I lived just a couple blocks from the school and we were skipping class. We hung out alone in my living room, watching "Men in Black" and making funny comments. Somehow we ended up practically in each other's laps. When he tried to kiss me, I freaked and turned away. He stayed for an hour or so after that and then left. Two days later, he had a girlfriend.
She was a cute little thing, not entirely gorgeous, but she looked like a nice girl. This time, I was the one hurt. Whenever I walked past him in the hallway holding hands with her, I almost started crying. It was embarrassing and I couldn't figure out why it mattered so much to me. It's not like either one of us had been clear about how we felt about each other.
We ran into each other a month later at a local dance. I was hanging out with one of our many mutual friends and he was kind enough to inform Tumbleweed that I was no longer speaking to him. The look on Tumbleweed's face was priceless as he looked at me and asked "Really?"
Yes really.
That was the first time I had actually snubbed anyone. I sucked at it. We were talking before the end of the night. He was full of crap. "She went for me, I didn't go for her!," "I thought you WANTED to be single?!" Excuses, excuses. I informed him that he had already done this to me three time. I also informed him that I forgave him and that if it ever happened again, he wouldn't get another chance. (Mentally punches self in face)
And that's how it sort of ended for a while... (To be continued.....)
Love, Me
